Food: long hailed as the ultimate aphrodisiac, and while it's easy enough to take a half dozen oysters, drizzle some creamy milk chocolate over them and blend it all into an avocado milkshake, is that really the most effective (or even edible) way to get in the mood? No.

So, what's the best way to prepare asparagus, figs and garlic to maximize their sexiness? Well, before you panic and start screaming, "How does it all go together?!" there's a Michelin-starred chef in town who's here to help. He's heard our desperate pleas and has started Sex on the Table, a series of cooking classes that both teach and promote what he calls "Horny Haute Cuisine." Color us intrigued...

Helmed by a Swiss-born chef who simply goes by the moniker "ChefFed" (and yes, it's one word), his students learn how to prepare a three-course meal using unique aphrodisiacs that can be found at any organic store. In his signature class, "The Odd Couples," curious home chefs cook with aphrodisiacs that most people wouldn't expect to be on the same plate (or even knew where aphrodisiacs!), like artichokes, parsley, kiwis and cilantro.

In other words, put the blenders away, friends. Your sexy foods (and taste buds) deserve better.